Where the wild meets the sky …

In the smallness of our minds and hearts, we count the hours until we get to do what we want. Yet all around us, we miss the wonder – and  the sorrow.  The world has had another reminder in the last couple of days with the earthquake and tsunami  in Japan, of just how fragile, and how precious each moment we have it.

The power of that which is around us, that we cannot control,  is a blessing and reminder of how connected we are to it.  We are so turned internally with our hearts and spirit that we forget how connected we are to each other and to our mother earth.  In our shame,  in pain, we turn away.

Now – when the wild power of the earth reaches up, to shake and pulverize our delusions of being “masters” of this planet – perhaps we will reach out to each other and make a connection beyond ourselves.  Let not this disaster be lost in just the winds of time and newspaper clippings.

When the wild meets the sky, when our hearts reach our hands and feet, perhaps …

Even if all you can do is offer prayers for each other, do so.

Even if all you have is a moment to spare for another, do so.

Even if all you can do is bless the earth with your walking, do so with that intention.

We are a circle, within a circle, with no beginnings and never ending.

Blessed Be,

Alan Telpefanga

Imbolc – the burning …

There are moments in anyone’s life, when they find themselves in the midst of “the burning.”

You know that time – the time when no matter what you do, there is this burning in your heart that says you cannot escape the events you are in. Your mind’s structure is tattered and torn, as emotion pours out of you at the slightest touch.  When your deepest emotions are so very near the surface, and it is all you can do to just make it to the next hour.

It matters not whether you created the flame or not. It matters not if it is the right time in your life based on your plans or not. It doesn’t even matter if it is agony or ecstasy. All that matters is the burning …

This Imbolc is a time like that in my life. There are events that I cannot control – I can only go through them and experience them. For me there are both good and bad experiences.  Some I pray to never have again – some I pray to never stop having.

So what wisdom do I gain from this? What can I share with you that will give you some insight to help you through your time?

For the moment – I have only this: be yourself.  As one of my daughter’s told me, everyone else is taken so I might as well be me. (love that girl!!)

So if your hearth is burning this Imbolc with inspiration, desperation, or even irritation (hopefully not irradiation!) be who you really are. Life may just surprise you when you leave all the “planned responses” you  have been ingrained with behind. And may the burning leave you (and me) more pruned to grow in good health in the coming months.

Blessed Be,

Alan Telpefanga

In the spinning cauldron …

Life has totally changed for me. That is the reason I have not written here in some time. I have had to face myself and realize certain things about me that were unpleasant. Things I had “learned” to just live with – only to find out I have failed to be myself to me, and to those around me because of that.

To be blunt, I have decided to divorce and separate my family. It is not a case of “she is awful” or “I am awful” – we were just awful together. And I let my fear of what would happen if I spoke my truth about it,  allow the marriage to continue way way way too long.

So lessons learned: You cannot love in pity. You cannot love in fear. You cannot love in just compassion. You cannot love in lust. You cannot love for the sake of fear. And if you cannot speak of it, you cannot be free of it.

For eventually, you become not what you are or were meant to be – you become the product of fear. A mouse shadow of yourself. Small, powerless and just surviving – not alive at all.

So I have entered the spinning cauldron, to find out where I am to be. For I cannot go back, I cannot stand still. I must evolve. My heart, my children and my life depend upon it.

I shall find my life again. I shall be whole again. I will find love again. As those come to be, I will see what the cauldron brings.

Blessed Be,

Alan

Skeleton in your closet?

It is interesting in this day and age how blind we are as Americans. We are blind to our heritage as a species, blind to reality, and blind to falsehood. Take skeletons for instance.

At Halloween, we think nothing of seeing these everywhere. In fact, we don’t see them, even though they may be on lights at the diner we are eating at, in our schools, at the town hall and in displays in yards throughout your neighborhood. They are there to “scare” us or to “have fun” in “make believe.” So – we ignore them. Because they “aren’t real” or “don’t mean anything.”

But any other time of year skeletons displayed or seen create an outrage/fear within us as being “demonic” or satanic in anything but a medical setting. Why – because we are scared about what we don’t know. We push it to the extremes to either the closet of taboos or the “silly” notions of fantasy. Skeletons are a stark symbol of the fact of life that most of America refuses to admit to – that we will all die one day. That death is a part of the circle of life – which flies in the face of what society tries to hide from us today in telling us how to live our lives – that we are immortal in the flesh we are living in right now! What a farce!

No wonder so many people live in fear of skeletons

It is one of the things I really appreciate about being pagan – our understanding and appreciation of what life and death is. Skeletons remind us of the spirit that lived amidst that shell and that has moved on to another level of existence. It is a concrete connection from that skeleton to that spirit. And all of us, people, animals and plants, are descendants and recipients of the work, lives, and energy that those who have gone before us have given us. We honor them and seek to invest that gift to honor the divine and our ancestors by blessing our descendants (whether they be by blood or spirit, it matters not).

Skeletons do not scare me – they inspire me to honor the spirits, remember my ancestors, and give thanks to the divine for the spark that joins us all.

We are a circle, within a circle.

Blessed Be,

Alan

A poem – House of Water

Inspired by our family trip to Virginia Beach and the song “Watermark” by Enya

House of Water

In the infinite moment of a finite mind,

Pulsating at the temple of my heart

With each crest – each break – each return

The ocean senses me,

yet remains what it is – serene chaos.

To the FARM

Yep. Family is moving into a farm house. We’re all excited (ok … wife and I are – kids are dealing with it). While there will be lots of work initially, it is surrounded on 3 sides by the Shenandoah River and a mountain on the fourth.

There has been no one there for some time, so the spirit of the place has become wild again.  I can’t wait to move in fully!!

Blessed Be,

Telpefanga

The Heat of May

Well, here in the Shenandoah Valley, this Memorial Day weekend is hot and sticky.  Spring is definitely leaving the building and summer is busting the door down.

As the kids schools are getting ready to let out, we mark another year in the family calendar. A year of challenges met and overcome, a year of pain and recovery, anger and love, sadness and joy. But we are … family.

I know the time is coming when our children will no longer be our “daily” ritual of moving them from place to place. They will be going on their own. And that the seeds we have planted in them years ago are now blossoming.

So as we prepare for our final year of our 3 youngest still being home, I just wanted to say – THANKS!

Thanks to all who have have helped us, encouraged us, laughed, cried and journeyed with us. We are blessed with many friends and family over the years. May the Lady and Lord bless you and yours in abundance.

Blessed Be,

Alan

For those in difficult times

Today my heart is turned to those I know, and those I don’t, who are facing truly great and difficult times. While we don’t always have the means to stop these events, we DO have the means to determine how we are going to deal with them.

To those I know – let not the unfaithfulness of those you thought were friends unhinge the the love of your heart.
To those I don’t know – May even a single small blessing of any sort give you strength to carry on in love.

To those not in great turmoil, I leave you with a quote – “Do something” – Harry Chapin

Blessed Be,

Alan Telpefanga

My Companion

Recently I was struck by the desire for a four-legged companion.

Now, one thing you must know is that about a year ago we had to put down our beloved friend  (Tootsie) of 5+ years because she had a brain tumor. Unbeknown to me was how deeply I felt her loss. While we did quickly get another dog for my son, I had no deep interest in it.

Then, among a gathering of like minded folks to discuss a “magical” opportunity, I was introduced to a dog that was part wolf. She hit me like a thunderbolt – I just felt this overwhelming calling in my heart for a new companion to walk the forests with me.

I searched, looked at so many dogs, had a one come to my home that I was falling for – and then I found her.

Makita (her name) was hours away, in a rescue kennel. There was something about her. Something in her bearing in her picture that melted my heart.  I consulted the Lady and Lord and all my readings said it would be my decision. The moment she appeared through the door though, it was all I could to not to run to her and her to me.

Now as I introduce her to my other entities, we are bound and renewed in a quest to learn from each other and to help each other. As we walk the ancient paths together, my family is rewarded with a new family member, a more whole father and husband, and my heart is healing.

Blessed Be,

Alan Telpefanga

Hammer Time

Sometimes in our lives, the poet strikes as hard as the Vulcan on the anvil of our lives.

No matter our position in life, our tasks of the day, our wanting to moving away from the emotions it invokes, the soul and spirit that is awake feels these strokes hammering at them.

Each falling on the unvarnished skin of our fragile self-delusion seeks to call out the true metal raised up by the fulcrum of the words and our true selves.

Certain songs do that for me. And sometimes, the lessons learned (or re-learned as I’m pretty hard-headed) are different than before. Sometimes is a poem, or story. Sometimes a verse from a prayer or old wise saying.

Take a moment or two today to reflect on words in the form of poetry (whether it be in song, prose or “classical” poetry). Perhaps you too, will hear the hammer of the Divine on your life – bringing out your inner steel

Blessed Be